Ducks in a row..

Life has handed me limes, lemons, and grapefruits these last few months. I’m trying desperately to try and get into a place I feel comfortable. Solid ground where i’m not stressing continually. It’s a long road, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I am finally getting a roommate. The gorgeous, cursing pirate Elisa. =) I feel comfortable around her and she’s not temperamental or so crazy spontaneous where she will decide to move to Cali one day and be gone the next. The little bit of financial relief I will get from this should really give me the break I need.

My car is on road to recovery as I write this. And hopefully will have life soon! I need it to, because I have realized just how much I need transportation. I live too far out in the sticks to bike it everywhere I need to go!

My friends are absolutely amazing though, I have no idea what I would do without them by my side. They have kept me sane. I love each and every one of them so much.

I like someone. He’s nice. He’s sweet. He’s unbelievably good looking. Even in all this I just don’t have that drive to dive back into something with someone. With anyone. I wish I did, because I feel like i’m going to squander away an opportunity with a good guy. A genuinely good guy. My heart just doesn’t beat like it use to it when I think about dating and getting to know someone. It recoils in absolute disdain. It hurts too much right now to let someone in and risk everything once again. It’s too soon. Unlike other people, I can’t bounce from person to person like it’s a game. And I don’t want to mess something potentially good up by still being in a bad state of mind about my ex. I just feel like i’d ruin something with a guy who deserves so much better than a damaged woman.

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