Small tid bits.

Just some random things i’ve been thinking about lately that I feel don’t warrant a FULL on blog:

  • I was watching True Blood the other night, one of my moms favorite shows, and I suddenly felt a pang of sadness. But it wasn’t the sadness that struck me as odd, as most things that remind me of my mom tend to make me miss her. It was a weird feelings of (almost) guilt that got me. I felt bad because I was getting to sit and watch, while she will never get the chance to watch it again. I don’t know if these feelings are normal. I don’t really talk about my feeling or what I think about with many people. I know plenty of people who have lost parents or close family members, but I feel like that is just an extremely depressing conversation to have with someone, especially with someone who lost their loved one a while ago. I don’t want to be THAT person that drags up old heartache.
  • I’m so tired of people judging me for having close male friends. They automatically assume that i’m messing around with them or that their must be feelings. I like hanging out with guys, they keep it real. It’s not a fake show. And if they catch feelings and get hurt because you don’t feel the same way? You deal with it or you get a different friend. While Walter was busily examining my friendship [my very public friendship] in which there was nothing going on, I should have been the one checking more closely into his. I have guy friends, it’s going to happen. But, never have I casually hooked up with any of my guy friends. If we develop feelings for each other and it turns into more, I don’t see a problem with that if i’m single? But, the fact is, I do what I want. And if you don’t like it, don’t be my friend or be around me. It’s that simple. I’m tired of the snide remarks and shit talking behind my back, I can’t help it if you’re guy wants to spend more time with me. Stop being so worried about yourself.
  • The M word. Self-pleasure is nothing to be ashamed of. I DO IT OFTEN WHEN I’M SINGLE. I’m so tired of people acting like masturbation is an unspoken evil. We’ve all done it, don’t fucking fool yourself into thinking people actually BELIEVE that you’ve never touched yourself alone in your room. I don’t put all my business out on the table usually but it’s a fact of life. Maybe if more people practiced it there would be less teenagers having babies. No one ever got an STD from masturbating. People at my job act like discussing this sort of thing with teenagers will enhance their want for unprotected sex, but they are already DOING THAT. So, I truly don’t see the point in avoiding it, because kids are going to have sex anyway. Might as well discuss an alternative.
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