Because She is the Best

Don’t pity the girl with one true friend. Envy her. Pity the girl with just a thousand acquaintances.

Everyone has someone they consider their close friend or best friend. A person they go out with to shop or catch a football game with. The first person they call when they have juicy gossip or meet a guy/girl. The one they drag to parties in case it’s lame and need an excuse to leave. There for you when you’re happy or sad. You know, someone you like being around and can relate to. Not me, I don’t just have a best friend, I have a life long bond. It’s more than just shopping, hobbies, gossiping, partying, laughing, fighting, crying: it’s forever knowing you have someone to rely on. It’s more than friends; it’s twins, attached at the hip, sisters from another mister. Whatever you want to call it: it’s us.

I have always gotten along with very different people; I have had all sorts of ‘friends’: nerds, jocks, skaters, preps. You know, people who don’t usually hang out with each other but because they know me will try to be cordial. But it’s hard to try and keep all of these people close friends when I feel like I have to choose, so I ended up having a lot of sorta-friends growing up and only a few friends. I didn’t mind though, because I fell in love with a boy and thought that he was all I really needed. He was my best friend for the longest time. The last few years of high school were all about me and him, nothing else mattered.


I started college and things went south pretty fast with him. He was jealous of me being away at college, not knowing what I was doing all the time. He constantly worried  that I would find someone else. Regardless of what I said, he was way too insecure to be with me while I lived in a dorm filled with guys.  We would be together one weekend and the next not. I decided to get a job at a daycare because I needed the money pretty bad. That is where I met Kassidy. She was a total bitch. Kind of. The first few weeks she and the other girls would always get together during breaks and talk, some of them would try and talk to me but it never felt sincere. I’m pretty shy when I am around a bunch of people but she never really made any attempt to talk me and so I assumed she hated me. I was pretty use to girls hating me without cause. But then one day a girl accused me of stealing her phone. I’m a lot of things, but a thief certainly is not one of those! We argued and, of course, some of the other girls jumped in backing her up. Kassidy quickly stood up for me and told the girl off, telling her that she always lost things and blamed other people until she found it under all the shit in her car or in one of the kids pockets. I was pretty shocked how well she shut the girl down, the girl certainly never rose her voice at me the rest of the time I worked there. I thanked her and she told me that I was too quiet and needed to speak up. She was right of course. We started talking gradually and I found out she lived right down the street, so I would give her rides home when she didn’t have one. Since then things have went kind of like this:

We hung out a lot, realizing we were’t too different. But then old HIM came around and we started dating again. I started to spend a lot of my time with him at first, then I introduced Kas and him but they immediately butted heads. It was hard to have a best friend who didn’t like your boyfriend and vise verse. So he hated when I choose to hang out with her; we constantly argued and after every fight Kas was there to comfort me. After months of this, we decided it wouldn’t work and we needed our own space. And for the first time since I was 15 I was really single. Kas and I were a dazzling duo again, everyone knew that if you invited one of us then you would have to invite the other.

We would get into all sorts of trouble together! Sneaking into dorm halls late at night and drinking, crashing fraternity parties, driving to Atlantic City to spend all our hard earned money on cheap slot machines. We got busted by ROPO(Rowan Uni’s Police) too many times to count. We even started dating marines that we met at a party in Cape May. We joke about it now, how hers was better looking but mine was more stable, but in the end both were looking for more and we were too young for all that seriousness. We had so much in common, but it was the things we didn’t have in common that made our friendship. She had never went outside of the state and really didn’t care if she did, but I wanted to show her some of the southern charm she was missing. During spring break we took a trip, visiting a bunch of cities and attractions on our way to Tennessee, where my mom had a condo that she let me borrow sometimes. That trip brought us so much closer; we talked, listened to music, flirted with cute guys in cowboy hats, and then left feeling like we had not a worry in the world. We had the same friends, she came to all my family functions, and she even started dating one of my friends from high school.

But nows about the time when old HIM came back into the picture. I never really stopped loving him. He promised things would be different. He even gave in and hung out with Kas.  It wasn’t so bad this time around though, maybe because he shortly after joined the military and he was only home for a few weeks at a time and we talked every day. Things were really good for about two years. I had everything I needed and I was finally finishing up school. But then one night I got a call from old him and he was so drunk that I could hardly understand him. He admitted to sleeping with a girl while he was there and told me he loved me, that he didn’t mean it. I was pretty hurt.

But, just like always Kassidy was there without hesitation. She was the one who really convinced me to not give him another chance. She wasn’t mean or rude, but she was stern and told me that I didn’t need him. She told me I deserved better than some guy who would constantly hurt me. She was right. It was hard, but I was able to move on and form some sort of normal life again. I graduated and joined the work force, and finally felt like an independent adult.

Kas was diagnosed with diabetes the winter after I graduated. I could tell that it bothered her a lot, she tried so hard to be brave. I told her I would go to her doctors appointments with her and help her with eating healthier so she didn’t get sick. I even learned how to give her her needles [the ones in the stomach were the worse]. She thought it was so weird that I wanted to help so much, but she had done so much for me and it was the least I could do! I wanted her to be healthy so we could grow up to be old cat ladies together! She was in and out of the hospital those first few months but finally we got it figured out and we told each other that she would eat healthy if I would let her pick out my clothes — since I was such a tomboy and all. Haha. It worked out well, I came into my own in fashion and she was feeling good!

We had each others back no matter what. Through deaths of family/friends, car accidents, fights with others, financial problems, and even depression. We have seen each other at our best and our worst. Nothing has changed in all the years i’ve known her, we’ve had our arguments but we quickly get over it like family does.

I’m still the chill girl who gets shy around people I don’t know, but i’m just a stronger person. And I have Kas to thank for that. She’s my therapist, my fashion designer, my partner in horror movie crime— she’s my best friend for life.

We aren’t typically girly girls. We hate going to the mall. We hate spending time on our hair. We still dance like fools in public places. We can go weeks without talking and still come back together as if no time was missed. I couldn’t imagine a better friend than her. Because, frankly, she is the best.


The two hundred pound elephant in the garage….

Frustrated isn’t even the word to describe how I feel right now. I don’t understand why people have to talk about other people and situations that they have NO CLUE about. I’m a grown ass woman and I do exactly as I want every damn day of my life and I have since the day I left my parents house after I graduated high school. Because I don’t need to ask permission to do things or to talk to people or to hang out with a friend.

If you have ever met and hung out with me then you know that I will talk to anyone. If you seem like a cool, nice person then I will at least try to get to know you and be social. I don’t care if everyone else in my group of friends hates you to death, if you seem like a decent person then I will give you a chance. Now don’t get me wrong, you mess with me once and I don’t give second chances unless we are extremely close and even then it depends on how bad you messed up. So, in saying that, if i’m friends with someone and nobody likes it — I DON’T CARE. I will still hang out with them.

By now, anyone that knows me knows that I am talking about Matty. He has had his issues with some people, including my boyfriend. But guess what? Matty is my friend and has been for 2 years. He has never done me wrong or done anything to make me think he would betray my friendship. Him and Walt do not get along and probably never will, but that will not stop me from going out to grab some food with Matty. Someone saw us out having dinner and automatically ASSUMED I was cheating, they decided to take pictures then email them to Walt anonymously. Guess what happened? Walt KNEW I was with him. Matty messed up a relationship with some girl I hardly know, who am I to hold that against him? Everyone messes up! He’s not perfect but neither am I or anyone else sitting and judging him as a person.

I’m so over petty bullshit and this is why I am cutting people out of my life that are toxic. I have a pretty good idea of who took the pictures because I saw you and your gorilla sized friend stomping around the avenue that night and that’s exactly why I don’t go to Walt’s garage as much, because even though most of the guys are cool, their girlfriends (as always) are catty, cliquey women who hate me FOR NO REASON. I count it as your loss because I know i’m an awesome person, so you talking about me and making shit up isn’t bringing me down. It’s just verifying my disdain for female friends.

Birthday Weekend

After you turn twenty-one, what good are birthdays? I obviously still celebrate it but mostly because other people want to recognize it. I don’t really want to give cheers to the fact i’m a YEAR OLDER. It’s just rubbing sand in the wound! But, I have to say, I have some of the best friends in the world and they made it very easy for me.

I came home Friday to a home cooked meal by Walter.  He sets the standard pretty high. He picked up THREE Ryan Gosling flicks to choose from, I was in heaven! I was with my amazing boyfriend and got to watch my movie boyfriend on tv.

Saturday, which was my official birthday, I got a super amazing surprise on my doorstep at 9am! Walt woke me up and told me there was a big box on my door step. I was so freaking surprised to see Kelli come out of the box! Who wouldn’t want their own Kelli James? I mean, I only had her for two days but it was still better than nothing. Walt and her had been arranging this for a few weeks, and it was exactly what I needed! I hadn’t seen her in what felt like forever and I missed her so darn much! We all went to my moms for a birthday lunch and cake with my family. I was getting to see all my favorite people on my birthday!

Kas and Chopchop wanted to take me out to dinner so I expected it to just be them, Kel, and I. But no way would Kas just do what’s expected. I got to the restaurant and all my bestest friends were there! Kas, Chop, Matt, Jess, Matty, and Darrel. It was a yummy dinner with awesome people!

Later on Kelli and I ran around to a bunch of old hang out bars and made fun of the old guys creeping on young females, drank pretty drinks with umbrellas, and danced around like fools! Waking up the next morning was sort of sad knowing she was leaving so soon. But I can’t tell you how much it meant to me for her to drive 5 hours to visit me for my birthday. I love you, homie KJ! =)

Needless to say, it was the best birthday weekend ever! I can’t thank everyone enough!